Shel Miller, Ph.D.

Shel Miller, Ph.D.

Relationship Builder

Services

In short, I solve people puzzles. I negotiate sustained working relationships that are relaxed and struggle free. I turnaround all kinds of partnerships so that co-workers and children of all ages smile again and feel...

Marriage

In addition to working As a Marriage Counselor, As Child Specialist or Parenting Coach (I can team with your divorce attorney), As a divorce coach to save your dignity and reduce your legal fees As...

Executives

It is our belief that highly successful executive leadership flourishes best when one enjoys a bedrock of happiness in one’s personal or family life. Anecdotal reports abound of the link between productivity and successful marriages...

Resources

Articles Here you will find many articles and white papers I have written and made available for download as a PDF document.  This includes essays, editorial pieces, and reviews that I've written in recent years....

On Being Authentic Soul Mates

Authentic soul mates hear the fears and honor the tears both inside oneself and on the face and in the heart of significant others. They let go of rage both inside and on the faces and in the heart of significant others. They hear what’s near and honor the joy …

Seminar on Divorce

Are you trying to protect your children from the stress of separation or divorce? The Metro West Practice Group of the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council, Inc. wants to help. Please come to our October 3rd Open House from 7:00 to 8:45 p.m. at the Watertown Library at 123 Main Street …

3 reasons for Infidelity

There are personal, interpersonal and societal contexts for infidelity. In the midst of breaking a promise to one’s partner – and infidelity is just that — one is not reflecting much. Anger may be a driver, vaguely registered, since a recent fight unresolved seems like a good excuse to justify …

Musings: Why I love what I do

Solving objective math problems back in junior high school was so much fun. It was about the relationships of one set of numbers to others. Now I am enjoying solving subjective, people puzzles or human instead of number relationships. In my huge junior high there were future doctors, lawyers and …

Bashbat Advertising Dep. For your daily dose of amazing, quirky, great, inventive, ingenious and simply awesome advertising. 10th JunFri (editor’s note: I have actually seen these hanging around The Netherlands and they are quite impressive.) “I wish we never had children. What you say during divorce lasts forever.” Advertising Agency: …

Avoid the Holiday Blues

I hope you are all taking the opportunity to enjoy your family and social connections now that you are half way through the year end holidays. This is a fine time to show your family how much you appreciate them no matter how they behave. You are who you are …

Staying Committed: Part 2

Key words: leadership communication negotiation parenting commitment coach success work love balance NO Summary: Success at both work and love enhance each other. The necessary negotiation and communication skills lead to success in both the bedroom and the boardroom. One of the most important skills involves keeping promises, especially the commitment to …

Staying Committed: Part 1

To develop these positive moods, one of the highest priorities is creating clear boundary marking. Eliminate chronic struggles over rule making, limit setting and the division of labor. The servant leader needs to be a giver but he/she also really needs another basic skill: the technique of the gracious ―no.‖ Saying …

Relationship Coaching

Perhaps the most famous face to face coach, (some would say “in your face”), confronting high conflict couples and families is Dr. Phil. Many arrive to the first few coaching sessions with a report of a breakdown in ability to communicate, and a loss of a sense of humor. I know that it …

Changing the Culture of Divorce: A Review

Following Jung, who said “There is not birth of consciousness without pain, she reminded us that suffering, loss, and death can lead to rebirth? At one of the later convention workshops on Advocacy versus Empathy, reference was made to “the initial trauma of divorce” and the need to wait until people emerge from …

The 4 F Model of Divorce

Here is a useful model for the divorce coach team member who is facilitating a 5-way meeting in the collaborative law approach to divorce.  This model dovetails with a set of expectations of ideal conduct appropriate for both attorneys as well as each spouse. Forgive (what happened in the PAST …

The Holidays

My coaching clients come in or should come in to develop more confidence when facing life’s milestone events. They come at those moments of pain, perhaps when planning a a family holiday reunion, a wedding, a graduation, confirmation, anniversary, or 30ieth birthday. In fact that is why I became the …